When "No" Means "Not Now"

On Tuesday, I turned 28 years old.  We had dinner with Scott's family last weekend, and this coming weekend, we're going out to celebrate -- just the two of us on Friday and with a whole group of friends on Saturday.

So on the actual day, I enjoyed some relaxation time and opened gifts from my family and Scott (you can check out a few snapshots below). 

But throughout the week, I've been thinking a lot.  I've been reflecting on the past year, but mostly I've been contemplating the coming year.

Birthday roses from my in-laws

Fun polka-dot tights for the family birthday dinner

Free birthday pumpkin spice latte!

I voted!

Yummy lunch of white cheddar mac & cheese with onions, peas, and salmon

Girly birthday outfit: pink cardigan, purple pants and a bit of sparkle

Gifts from my family!

Scott's gift! Classic and beautiful.

It's probably the first time in my life when I'm unsure what the next year holds.  Yes, I quit my job last December and wasn't sure how my business would grow in 2012, but I did know I was finishing grad school and nannying for the first half of the year.  And I do know I'll continue to work hard and spend time with the people I love in the 12 months ahead, but there are more unknowns than ever before.

The good news: in the midst of the birthday celebrations and my time of reflection, I found peace.  I received a "no" this week -- one of many that I have received and one of many to come -- but this time, I didn't see it as a "no."  I realized it was simply a "not now" -- a sign that I was going to be okay, I was on the right path, and I shouldn't give up, worry, or feel discouraged.  It was a moment of complete trust that God has a plan and He is taking care of me.

And as part of "not now," I also refocused on the "now" -- today, the present time, my life as it is right now.  So much of the time, we're looking to the past or the future.  In this coming year, as a 28-year-old, I hope to savor the present and treasure this year of life, whatever it brings.

I hope to remember that "no" doesn't always mean "no, end of story."  In those quiet moments of prayer and questions and gratitude, I hope to find peace again and again... to understand that "no" often means "not now... be patient and focus on all the good in life at this very moment."