Friday, August 9, 2013

On Waiting

We're five days away from my due date, so the waiting game is on. I've been enjoying a low-key week of resting, reading, (a little) organizing, and seeing friends. (I even read a whole book in one day -- that's not going to happen again for a very long time!)

It's nice to have downtime before the baby arrives, but it's also a strange feeling... the anticipation, uncertainty, excitement.

Full nursery reveal is coming soon!

I think we're as ready as we'll ever be. So I'm trying to stay focused on the present and savor these quiet moments and not feel like I'm wasting time, not wish the time away. It's so hard to not count down days and wonder when things are going to happen, when my life is going to change so completely, when I'll get to see and hold this little being, this part of me, who has been growing and moving inside me for months now.

I'm restless at night, waking up again and again, having trouble falling back to sleep, eating a bowl of cereal and reading on the couch before going back to bed. I can feel my body making progress, preparing, and sometimes I wonder, is this it? Is today the day?

And while I'm excited for what's to come, I'm nervous too. Labor, delivery, taking care of a newborn. No one can predict how these will go. After nine months, it's very surreal too, to live out these moments that I've imagined and looked forward to and tried to picture, tried to wrap my mind around. But until the time comes, they are just my best guesses.

This is all a new experience, something I've never done and something that won't happen in the same way again. I feel ready and not ready. I'm waiting, praying, trusting, taking each moment as it comes.

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