It's been a few days. With everything going on, the week flew by. Even though I didn't post, I was thinking about so many things, things I want to share with you all.
As I have mentioned before, I'm nannying as my business ramps up. It's nice to have a steady form of income and to be able to help out Scott's cousin's family. Full-time nannying + part-time grad school + building a business = a lot of work. But you know what, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.
Don't get me wrong, there are many points of frustration. I've found that I react differently now though. Because I've made the choice to live this life, I feel in control. Even when the bumps in the road (a fussy baby, too much homework, very little sleep, a snowstorm) come up, I have been better about taking a deep breath and pushing forward.
And it seems that with every frustration, there is a positive to balance it out or even cancel it out completely. A happy grin from a 7-month-old, a lovely book like Sense and Sensibility, a goodnight kiss from my husband, or the beauty of snow while we drink wine and watch "Midnight in Paris" in our cozy living room... or a first big freelancing assignment (yes!!).
(By the way, I loved "Midnight in Paris"... as a romantic at heart and especially as a writer. I've been wanting to see it, and after reading Alaina's recent post, I had to make it happen. Although Scott watched at my request, he enjoyed the views of Paris, a city he visited years ago, and the historical references to the 1920's and people like Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Picasso, etc.)
During the homily, the priest spoke about vocations, what we are called by God to do. He was only a year older than I am, so it was inspiring to hear someone my age have so much passion for the Church and for supporting others in finding their calling. (Also loved the mention of a fellow ND grad who is considering priesthood... and that there is a huge ND alumni contingent at the parish... no wonder I feel very at home at St. Clement's!)
The priest talked about how we often sleepwalk through life, but God is calling us to wake up. He is calling us to fall in love, no matter what our vocation may be... fall in love with Him, with our spouse, with life.
Even if you don't believe in God or vocations, each of us has a purpose in life, something we strive to fulfill, something we feel called to do.
The first reading, 1 Samuel 3:3b-10, 19, stated: Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening. Do I listen for what God calls me to do? Do I listen to God's voice in my daily life? It was a reminder to be humble and listen. To wake up to God's presence. To re-commit myself every day to living out my vocation. You know how I said earlier, "Because I've made the choice to live this life, I feel in control"? Maybe I'm not in control. Maybe I'm just doing what I feel called to do.
Yes, I'm tired and stressed and busy. Sometimes, I think, just get through the day, just get through this one thing. That's normal and human. But I also don't want to waste my time and wish my days away, because this is the life God has given me. This is my one, crazy, beautiful life.
I want to wake up, fall in love, listen. I want to live out my vocation... to love my husband, to write and share with others, to grow in my faith.
What are you called to do?
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